If you read this blog on a regular basis, you may recall an entry I made that was entitled, "Lessons from Lao Ma and Xenaverse." This essay was about harnessing the power of Chi in the universe to move energy through our three dimensional world. I mentioned as briefly as possible that I had been the object of psychic attack. That went on for over three years until I learned enough and healed enough to keep the attackers out of my energetic space. I was technically only a secondary target. I was helping a friend of mine who was under attack and unaware of the questionable energy of a person who claimed to be helping my friend. When I started drawing attention to the fact that this person was clearly not acting in integrity towards her, my friend's eyes were opened to just how much out of integrity this person was. The spell over her was broken, even thought the attacks continue. When it was discovered that I was pulling back the curtain to reveal the truth of the situation, I also came under attack, even though I had never even met this individual.
I'm going to fast forward through a lot of suffering, drama, and spiritual battling, so I can report that this battle is finally over. The last battle occurred during a very dark dream, where it was clear that the evil was planning to finish me off once and for all. Only God had a better plan. When it was clear what entity was attacking me, even though it was in a new guise, I gave the situation over again to the Divine to bring to an end. While I have no idea what happened in the rest of the dream, it must have been a big deal because I blacked out even in my dream. There was no pain, only a sense that a lot of dark energy was attacking me. Bear in mind that I was asleep and dreaming and yet the scene felt and seemed very real to me. Real enough that I passed out in the dream after yielding up my soul to God to take to heaven. Whatever happened after I passed out is a blank. While I can nearly always use lucid dreaming and finish or change the dream, either in my sleep or in a semi-somnolent state, this time I could not go back. It was as though the angels had bolted and locked the door to that part of my brain. While it felt a little strange to be barred from part of my brain, I knew it was for the best. I let it go of it in trust. In truth, I didn't want to know what else had happened. All I know is that the angels fought the rest of that last battle without me, and while I suspect I'll learn what happened on the other side of the veil, I have no desire to know at this time. I care only that it is finally finished and for good.
As for my dreams, the dreamscape change dramatically, as though someone turned the television off for a while and then turned it back on to a much more light and love filled show. With this change of channel came a whole new series of fictional stories I started writing/living in my dreams. The contrast was extreme, and for the first time in three years, it felt as though my dreams were finally all mine again. I was so happy for the story arc to entertain my inquiring mind. I jotted down a couple of pages of notes so I can start writing these stories soon. I want to immerse myself in happy stories. I am ecstatic to bid that time of my life goodbye.
Going through the next couple of days, the Twenty-Third Psalm was brought to my mind, and I suddenly understood the phrase "the valley of the shadow of death." I already know that death is nothing to fear. After my experience of sensing the joy radiating from my Granny's spirit during her funeral, I know that there is nothing about death to fear, so the phrase is something that seemed puzzling. I've been near death before, and while I had some regret about leaving others behind to mourn, I didn't fear death in my early twenties, and I have no fear of it now. There is more of a happy expectancy now. I know my time isn't for a while yet, but I realize that the valley of the shadow of death has more to do with the fear of evil than with death. It is the fear of the monster we believe is under our beds at night. The monster isn't real, but try telling that to a child who is certain that it is real. Belief is a powerful thing. On one hand, it is the Light of faith. On the other hand, it is the shadow of fear.
After that dream that night, Psalm Twenty-three came alive in a new way for me, a way in which I felt the presence of the divine protecting me not from the outside, but from the inside. Not only do I have no fear of death, but I also have no fear of those who think they have the power of life and death over me. It only takes a split second to make the decision to give that power to whatever divine being or presence you believe in. In so doing, you disarm fear; you dispel the darkness. Your experience of life and death is in your power. In my dream, I gave that dark moment of attack over to my Creator and let a higher wisdom make the final decision. Now I realize that the night this occurred, you could say that it was "only a dream," but be that as it may, it seemed very real to me and the fact that I chose to surrender my soul to the Divine feels right to me. I have been able to feel a Presence that is tangible ever since. I've sensed this Presence before, but I felt it in a new way starting that night. I know that encounter changed me in the same way that sensing my Granny's joyful spirit at her funeral changed me. I have never feared death since then and now I no longer fear evil having any power over me again. Ever. I am free and it feels really good. I bask in the Presence. I know that this Presence is Divine and it is inside me, filling me, informing me, and protecting me. Anything that is foolish enough to attempt to attack God is going to have the battle of their life. I am not the combatant. I am the protected sheep. The one that comforts me is a shepherd, but apparently one with one serious, evil-whooping rod and staff.
"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Psalm 23:4